i took to left and then to right

hold my gun up and strafe to side

in the distance ,past the double doors,

lying face down on the floor

a teammate, dead as can be

i take a peek to try and see

the terrorist who gunned him down

nothing there ! i start to frown

i run in there as fast as i can

behind me was one from the tharki clan

my blood runs cold. i feel him near

i scream to my mates “they ‘re here ! they ‘re here !

aloud rings a deagle shot

the gun i now wish i had bought !

to the left i quickly duck and jump

and a shotgun shell into him i pump

flashbang, how i trust thee !!

i throw one , then turn to flee

he was too slow-now blind as bat

now he’s the mouse and i’m the cat

pick up my dead friend’s MAG

and perforate his head

my fingers are getting numb and sore

can’t stop now one more to go …..

a teammate was killed across the map and

i’m getting tired of this old crap

switch to my nife and run like hell

somethings is wrong – i can tell ……    ………….. to b continued


……”tomoro aachi?” (is it urs?)
i was bewildered that moment when the watchman asked me….showing that biggest of all indian notes……a straight 500.
so bewildered that instead of saying a confident YeS…….i did all diffident stuffs….and the watchman naturally was sufficed that in no way it could had been mine…..
i regretted…i really did.
not only for that particular moment but then even after……..
i remember i was with my friends whole evening freaking out……and everytime i purchased a thing that big green paper popped ahead my eyes..and i could just regret and regret again….
but i couldn’t forget….i should have…..right?
sulking i returned back to my room……making a small note of my expenses that day (heyy cool! it’s still my dad’s money)…..i smashed my frayed moneybag on the desk..and heck a 2 rupee coin popped out of it on the floor……and i was so disgusted i didn’t even pick it….and slept sulking…..”maybe that big piece cud be in my bag if i hadn’t…”

the night beckoned……..i fell asleep.
i won’t write my dreams here…..(and no, they did not contain the same story)

but i was awake a while early the next day…..
still fluttering my eyelids……wanting to sleep more…wanting to get off the last day still.
i could see the maid on her regular time brooming my floor clean….thanks to her.
then she reached beneath the table…still brooming…then to the 2 rupee coin……stopped brooming…
stretched her hands…picked that up
and heck….
just put it up on the table calmly….as if the sound of the coin could be awakening me.

hell what was it?
didn’t she require it……….of course she must have….
or else why did she bargain on payments per wash…the other day……even that was for a rupee or two..

i was a hangdog….now.

couldn’t even sulk no more
how did she do it?


June 4, 2009

Sometimes ‘m pretty amazed why people tend to opt for autobiography ? From my point of view, it’s like asking a rabbit to tell us what he looks like hopping through the grasses of he field, :O. how will he know? I rather suggest it would be nice to hear about the field by him.

                                          Blah !! Blah !! the boigrapher goes on and on non-stop , and we don’t even know wether its true or not , most of the times they fake incidents just to get some repo in the market . 

But, I have always regarded memoirs as a source material. A memoir provides a record not so much of the memoirist as of the memoirist’s world.

It might seems that why this topic again? A dimension works like a utility or instrument that measures the depth of situation and application. It’s my dimension, so in my way I am going to discuss.

Q. Does this post talks/points about real situation or person?

Ans: It will be truly your decision, for the time being I can say I always try to be honest with people and my work.

Chaitanya called up and explained me numerous reason of being stupid to our engineering career up to now. The reason being we are not doing “INTERNSHIP” (just a traditional training scene) anywhere (except the guy who called up). This thing suddenly changed my view and that can be told as “Paradigm Shift” if you ever had an opportunity to read “7 habits of highly effective people” (by the way I am in some unlucky few that even over a month I didn’t finish it up). So I decided to express this conventional personal/social change with this remarkably good platform rather than writing this on a notebook. (A little inspired from my blogger friends like “Chaitanya”, “Sajal”, “Fresher”, “AbP”).

The question what I often being asked is “Why don’t you have any girlfriend?” Different people commented differently “Koi ladki nahi pasand aayi?”, “Kabhi attempt nahin maara kya?”, “Abe thik to dikhta hai phir kya problem hai?”, “Kuch to kar yaar sab ne bana li”,”Beta abhi hi toh time hai baad mein kya karega”,”Bindass bol jo bolna hai jise”and many others. Though none of these match the situation linked and the message beneath, Indeed it’s not the matter of looks not the issue of being love struck but definitely the situation.

It might be a case that you people must be thinking that why I am showing off so much but it is not the case. It is a general concern if you have carefully read the “TITLE” of this post. The question being asked by many people including some of my family members (ha ha, Mummy ne indirectly poocha tha!), friends (old & new), my training mentor (yes it’s true). So I decided to write about it openly concerning the issues why this so with me and may be many others.

NOTE: I am trying to be concise but I can’t help it out.

Just 3 days before two seniors (pass outs) from my college (I don’t want to take the names here) who got placements in decent companies awaiting joining letter decided to do “court marriage” (here in my place) and told their parents to be cool about it. I see no breaking of values here but yes I can say it’s too early. Parents are concerned about how it is possible that they are so sure about the biggest decision of their lives even they never know that in this recession time they will get a job or not, which is the basic requirement.

Being love struck is something everybody wants to have there is no exception and if you are thinking, you fall in those categories! I better suggest seeing through the situation. A guy; I think crushes at least (I don’t know how many times) a day, but the biggest crush is being committed to someone. It has no exception that everybody dreams about soul mate even sees him/her. Having a friend who is girl is different from having a girlfriend and being committed to her. But how situation hinders all aphrodatic (Aphrodite: Greek Goddess of love & beauty) development, let me explain in my views and experiences.

Monetary system lets those to live only who can extract money out of this system at the same time making someone to be in debt. “Career and Seeking Financial Independence” is the main cause of not being committed or pretend to be an ignorant or introvert. It never means that people can’t talk/walk/have fun/crack jokes/ be social/etc. Person like us are at least educated to some level so even we can think about some real life situation that are connected. It’s not like that I have to show-off to some one if I started roaming around with GF, but it is a great issue when you do that, without being at least financial independent, so how you think that you can keep your commitment? The mighty issue also applies the other side of the line which is being talked about, I mean both for a guy and a girl. May be you can; but demanding time out of someone’s life is really a matter of concern. If you choose to continue like that, it is the best thing you have ever done. But I see break-ups only. So I think if I am not capable at this point having a career/profession I am no one to decide some commitment to anybody and that leads to a personal sacrifice. This never disqualifies me to have GF but…..the situation becomes so complex that misunderstanding arises between people and you are been considered that “you were not involved with the person concern in the time you are supposed to be”. A person can be in love to his/her life time to a single person but I think real love is being patient and honest to your heart.

It might take some time to be out of situation but it takes someone’s lifetime to be out of his/her “LOVE”.

I sincerely don’t believe in break-ups and being cool about it as I have seen many people (I am talking about Engineering colleges here, where I reside most of the months in a year; not mine but others also), even some of my friends. I will continue to see it as far as people don’t know/believe about personal values and commitment. I value relationship and commitment and know that it takes time to build it up, so I am patient. May be I am hurting some one but to be honest I don’t want to. The real thing is that I need time to patch it up and it is the only thing I demand or anyone who knows what I am talking about. People are no bad anymore if they are educated to an extent but “Character is virtue of situation”. Situations which basically revolve around financial security are the main evil. Understanding is important. This doesn’t make me to be in situation where I can’t be happy. But it’s really important that you are being understood about that you truly believe in “ONE LIFE ONE LOVE”. Nobody forgets. So folks start thinking over the situation, don’t harm any emotions, rock the world with your talent & end of the day give back to your society(At this point of time it is up most requirement) and be committed to yourself and your commitments.

I have seen a documentary that said that you can be scientifically in “love” just for 24 months with a person; I think they need to review it again!


when you will try to upload a custom theme to here at WordPress.com you will simply fail. Yet people on another blog cleverly guide you through it en cashing your technically temporary stupidity.
Note : WordPress.com never allows it’s user to FTP (File transfer protocol); so if you want to use custom stuffs here you simply can’t. Please be aware and at least don’t be fooled what other says.

Does it really termed sounds like Open Source?

Really termed sounds like Open Source?

This may sound stupid but some facts do bug me a lot . Do they exsist , where they come from where they go , what are their intentions etc etc . Earth is full of wonders and many incidents mark their presense .

 the first thing is how was such huge pyramids made out of nowhere in sand , how come such perfection was acheived , that no even air can pass though the walls which are just made of block of stones , who carried them , what mechanics was used , how were they able to dig so deep in sand  what kind of instruments they used , who developed the idea of mummyfication .

Second thing , the flying saucers we saw , the bright spot in the sky where they came from , the cluster in the sky etc

Third , satalities detected  a bridge linking India and Srilanka made of stones beneath the sea, and according to Hindu epic, Lord Rama constructed a bridge of FLOATING stones , the question is, if it really happened, how was he able to do that , who gave him such powers  

there are lots of other facts , will discuss about that in my next post


Yet another mistake or rather the stupidity of my life.
Ahhh planned to get rich earn lots of greens but all crashed in a wink. Thought will launch a site and then will make some cash out of it, learned lots of HTML editiors , CSS editiors bought loads of softwares for tht but alll proved to be a pain in ass, I nearly used up 2 months of my life surfed net for all the pros and cons and when the time came and i used up all my energy and created a site ( invested lots of cash too) the user rating fell below the datum linbe , i guess it must be lying smewher in Hell. neways it was nice to have smoe experience n learn a moral :web isnt for kids anymore .But still i havent left hope i’ll be back again with better n rock-solid ideas how to run a website .. till den i need some peace and advice .ADIOS